I just sit quietly and listen until he's done, and then I remain quiet for a moment longer, considering how best to respond.

"You won't have much experience of them, given how you generally seem to start off with a particular agreement already in place, but there's a certain type of man who thinks they're being gentlemanly to not do what you both know you both want," I say finally. "If you were a girl, I'd tell you to just grab him and snog him senseless and see what happens, but I don't think that'll do in this case."

I realize that I'm being utterly unhelpful and give him an apologetic smile. "If you were a girl I'd have all kinds of advice, but I'm not sure a tight sweater and the right lipstick would help you much."