sunburned | (no subject)

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laurence

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Enough is enough.

He lasts a week, gathering fresh clothes from the clothes box, staying with either Julie or Priestly. He's been mostly serious and sullen, turning it over and over in his head. It's his fault - he knows that. And that means it's down to him to at least try to set it right.

It's evening, the sun already sunk below the horizon, by the time he comes home.

"Laurence? Will?"

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"Aye, and for that I'm grateful." He finds himself fairly solidly held by Laurence's grip on his arms. "And what do you imagine 'this thing' is, Laurence? Because, honestly, I'm finding you bloody impenetrable - which has been charming in the past, honestly, but, for now, it's causing the most dreadful ache in my head."

"It is--" Laurence paused momentarily, trying to put his thoughts and words in some semblance of order. "I am still not entirely certain what it is, or what it may be, but I am willing to wait and see. Does that help?"

It feels a little bit like being drunk. He hiccups a sound that sounds something like a laugh. He shakes his head.

"No, Will. That doesn't help."

"Then I am sorry, John." Laurence sighed, loosening his grip on Granby's arms, but not dropping them entirely. "This is something beyond my experience. I need time, as I said."

It hasn't escaped his notice that Laurence hasn't let him go, yet. And that phrase, that something beyond my experience. It didn't sound like 'no' to Granby's ears. Not emphatically, anyway.

"So," he says, swallowing, his hand coming up to trace the tips of his fingers along Laurence's jaw. "Slowly is best?"

Laurence nodded, drawing in an unsteady breath at the touch of Granby's fingers against his face. What he had said about experience had been entirely true. "It is."

"To be absolutely clear, Will," he says, voice sticking in his throat a little, fingers curling against the side of Laurence's neck, thumb stroking against his jaw. "Do you mean to say that you want..."

He lost his words entirely and closed his eyes, swallowing hard as he drew in a breath. "That you want this?"

And he doesn't lean in anymore, doesn't kiss, but, oh, he wants to.

"I-- It is beyond my experience," Laurence answered. His eyes closed as Granby's touch continued and traveled downwards to his neck, bringing to mind memories of the last time the other man had touched him so. He did not know if the outcome would be the same on this occasion and did not know if he wished it to or not.

Granby keeps his eyes open, focusing on the shift in Laurence's expression. Of course, Laurence is so buttoned up and neat that it's difficult to get at any skin other than what he's already touching.

He shakes his head.

"No," he says, quietly. "I can't...I can't leave myself open to doubt here, Will. Our lives have been very different. I need...I need you to say it. If you would."

"I do not know if I can," Laurence said, dragging his eyes open, a look halfway between uncertainty and a plea on his face. "Please understand that."

"I understand," he says, gently, thumb stroking against the side of Laurence's neck, right against his pulse. A shiver goes down his spine. "But...I have spent my whole...life, Will, reading signs and hoping that I've read them right. Hoping for the best."

He shakes his head.

"I won't here. Not with you. Not with...this." He leans in, lips grazing against the corner of Laurence's mouth. "I wish that this was easier."

At the kiss, Laurence tightened his grip on Granby once more, turning his head towards it. It was... dizzying, the very notion of what they were doing was fairly dizzying, but he would not stop it. Despite it all, despite every misgiving and second thought and lack of experience, he did like it.

It's not words, but, in a way, it's just as definite, in a way. It proves something, anyway, and Granby feels something tighten in his chest in response. Gently but firmly, Granby turned the kiss truer, nudged it deeper, his hand still on the side of Laurence's neck.

Laurence let himself be drawn into the deepening kiss without complaint or uncertainty. It was easy enough to do. Motions unimpeded by thought. Wondering where it all might lead and what it might say about him could be returned to later.

They've done this before but this is entirely different: Granby's got a clear head, for a start, and neither of them are in emotional turmoil or fear for his life. Before, he'd been afraid that Laurence had done something he never would, that he'd in some way coerced him.

He's beginning to think differently.

Without really thinking about it, he steps in, steps closer, pushing Laurence back a step towards the bed.

At first, Laurence followed along where Granby led, but when he realized just where the other man intended them to go he balked, pulling away from the kiss with a questioning look. He had asked for time.

Colour touched Granby's cheeks and he ducked his head, by way of apology.

"I know," he says, with a crooked smile. "But I would kiss you thoroughly and for a long time and in the middle of the room probably isn't the best place for it, Will."

He shrugs and wills Laurence to bend to his experience.

He spent a brief moment in thought before glancing at the door. Though he very much doubted that any one might interrupt the occasion the fear of discovery still lingered in his mind. As satisfied as he could ever be at the arrangement, Laurence nodded.

Grinning, then, Granby takes hold of his hand and tugs him in the direction of the bed. He pushes him, gently, making Laurence sit on the bed before his knee hits the edge of the mattress between Laurence's knees, helping him balance. He tilts Laurence's face up towards him with his hand against his jaw and bends to kiss him again.

Laurence returned the kiss gladly. It was, so far, a good deal less overpowering than being with Jane Roland and for that Laurence was grateful. When cast into such uncharted waters it was nice to know that the hands guiding him along were competent without being overly forceful.

It's difficult to process that they're both here with clear heads, entirely sober. It's difficult to process the fact that Laurence is kissing him because he wants to. Granby's fingers push into Laurence's hair, holding him to the kiss, holding the angle. He makes a soft sound against his mouth.

Laurence continued with the kiss, content to let himself be led in this thing. What little experience he had was of a similar sort; the experienced guiding him along and him following after as they asked. But he was something of a quick study too and if the kiss turned a bit deeper it was by his urging.

Granby had no complaints there at all. Slowly, gradually, he eases Laurence back on the bed, not breaking the kiss, catching his weight against bent arms but leaving them pressed together from chest to knee.

Laurence drew back for a moment, slightly out of breath, but with a small smile quirking at his lips as he looked up at Granby. It was already very from different what had happened the last time and he was enjoying the whole thing all the more because of that fact. But he still could not help that small, ever-present sense of worry at the back of his mind. "How far is this to go?"

The smile, small as it is, is enough to make Granby grin. His weight leaning across Laurence, he pauses to think about it.

"Honestly, Laurence, I hadn't thought that far ahead," he says, still smiling. "I'd thought to get away with as much as you'd let me."

He bends his head, pressing a kiss against the point of Laurence's chin.